Sat here at the golden age of 34 just four months shy of my 35th birthday, I’m still undecided complete duster. I’m totally cool with not being a full-time mom. I have a lot of love to give. I’d like to baby-sit or pick up another passion if and when I finally settle down. But right now I just want to do the very best I can with the life I’ve been given.
I’ve already lost one child through childbirth. I didn’t want that one to happen again. Yet here I am. And just like that, I’ve lost another one to a long term health issue. It’s been 10 years. It seems like it’s meant to happen.
When I was in the top 1% of my class in high school, I was a published author. I dropped out of college because I couldn’t afford to stay in school long enough to get a degree. Both my children would have been grown by now if healthy.
I’m not sure if I would have been able to maintain a family if I hadn’t given up a year of my life to save my life.
That has to be the most humiliating thing one can do. Become a full-time parent and leave the rest of your life to fend for yourself.
I’m done.