“How can I be sure to trust again?”This is the question we fear answering the most. Fear that having the courage to ask might make us question our investment in a relationship, our willingness to put up with suffering, our willingness to give up what we think we want.The fear of the question is familiar …
Things people never say to you about your feelings is one of those things everyone praises but no one actually cares about. No one ever tells you what your feelings mean to them, they only tell you to trust your feelings and carry them with you at all times.The reality is people often make the …
Things no one ever says to you about your Feelings Read More »
A lot of people use the term “confident” as an adjective. They believe that by adopting this philosophy, they will bring a certain level of confidence to their relationships. However, when we think about it, a confident person is not a self-assured person. They know what they want and they have a lot of self-knowledge.Confident …
Many people have asked why they should even be looking for a relationship. It seems so obvious that if you really think about it, why not just meet people randomly and see if they are interested?And sure, that might work out OK in the short run. You find out two people both want you and …
People are socialized to believe the “biggest loser is someone who stays in a bad relationship.” This is why we have judges, prosecutors, and jurors; because people are taught to believe this. I am not going to claim I have the answer, but I do believe we have a grave flaw in our socialization — …
I knew our affair was over.It had only been a few months, but I already felt the effects of the infidelity on my relationships.By then, I was already in a relationship with a man who I thought was my soulmate. We were very similar in many ways, and our relationship had all the hallmarks of …
I knew our affair was over, but I still stayed on for the Heartbreak Read More »
When it comes to relationships, we all have good and bad experiences. And while there are many reasons behind why relationships fail, there is another, more terrifying reason: talking over and over again with the same person.It’s a slap in the face and a reminder of how little you matter.The worst relationship-ending speech I ever …
We all want to know who the happiest person in the world is. Who’s the best friend, who’s the best spouse, who’s the best parent, who’s the happiest person on earth?You may have an answer.But when it comes to yourself, when it comes to your innermost self, there’s only one correct answer: none of them.The …
Simple Questions to Evaluate the Happiest person you know Read More »
Coming out of a 12-year relationship with my husband, I was ready to move out on my own. That’s only been a few months, mind you, but it felt like forever.Moving out on my own usually means going to live with a friend or family member. (Or, if we weren’t close, going to a different …
I’ve been thinking about opposition to social liberation and the political/cultural battles that have been won. I’ve been wondering why we don’t talk about the little stumping of liberation.Oppositional struggle is the history of changing relationships — between people, between communities, and even between nations.Oppositional struggle is an ongoing process, which changes and adapts over …
Why are we not talking about the little stumbling of opposition to social liberation? Read More »