I have always had a strong attachment style.
The most important lesson I have learned from my childhood is that attachment is more than how we show our love to our children.
It is more than our attachment style.
I learned that our attachment style is what determines our life choices.
I learned it is a result of the parents we have been and the example they set for us.
And, I learned it is a result of the people we spend the most time with.
I am not the only one who finds this hard to believe.
We are hard-wired for attachment — a survival instinct that keeps us together and makes us love each other.
But, it is a survival instinct that can lead to an unbalanced relationship.
And, it is a sign of an unbalanced relationship, that can last a lifetime.
If you have been in a relationship that is not an Attached relationship, you will thank me later for saving you from that fate.
I promise you, you will.
The Signs You are Attached — and You Should Know by Now
To be attached is not something that happens by magic.
I mean, we are all aware of the fact that we love someone A and someone B, yet, we still go out of our way to choose someone who is not attached to us.
We even go as far as to choose our next partner based on whether or not we can: a) make them happy, and b) feel we can always depend on them.
I have never been healthy with attachment styles and I have always been afraid to be honest about my emotions.
I have always felt that it would hurt me to let someone into my life that was different from me.
I believed that I would lose my partner if I showed them and revealed my innermost feelings.
I have never been more wrong.
The attachment style has certainly changed my life for the better.
It gave me security and helped me to feel I had a strong support system in my life.
It made it easier for someone I know to forgive his abusive father and for him to forgive him.
It made it easier to let go of unhealthy relationships and to let someone else be in my life.
It helped me to feel loved and in control of my life.
The attachment style is a simple formula for finding a healthy relationship in an unhealthy one.
The problem with the attachment style is that we have a hard time accepting it because it does not fit our conventional idea of love.
We think it is a choice and often don’t even recognize it as a choice, only a feeling.
We often see someone with this style of love as clingy, as being emotionally unavailable.
However, this can be a coping mechanism.
It can be a way of feeling safe in a world that is sometimes too scary.
It can be a way of feeling secure in a world that is sometimes too insecure.
In reality, attachment is a form of self-preservation, based on our early life experiences.
We were protected in a world that was not always kind to us.
We were often deprived essential nutrients such as iron and zinc which are found in the blood.
We were protected in a world that was not always kind to us.
We were often deprived essential nutrients such as acetylcholine which is found in the brain and plays a key role in creativity.
We were protected in a world that was not always kind to us.
Our immune systems were weak.
Our emotions were hidden.
We had no voice.
We were not always sure of our own feelings.
We had to rely on our parents to tell us what to do.
They didn’t always take kindly to having their child act in a way that was not approved of, so we were made to feel like we are doing something wrong.
Attachment style is seen as a way of being a better person, but it is actually a way of being worse.
It is possible to be securely attached and not know it.
It is possible to be avoidantly attached and not know it.
It is possible to be securely attached and have a difficult time trusting anyone.
It is possible to be avoidantly attached and have a difficult time trusting yourself.
It is possible to be securely attached and feel unloveable.
I don’t think it is ever okay to be wrong about who you are or what you want.
I think it is possible to be right about who you are and what you want.
I think it is possible to be loveable and endearing and to have your needs met by everyone.
I think it is possible to be loved and respected.