It’s been said a million times over how important “I love you” is to men. It is said over and over again to women, but never to men. It’s only said too late. It’s said to women when their ex-boyfriend or husband has started bailing them out, supporting them financially, offering to pick up the kids from daycare, and on and on. It’s a text to a woman when she needs it most. It’s a reminder of the relationship’s status on her mind. It’s a reminder of how much she’s missed him. It’s a reminder of how much he’s missed her. It’s the love she needs.
It’s also a reminder of the fact that while men are given space to express their love to their current or former girlfriends, they are not given the same leeway with their exes.
There’s a difference between expressing your love for a woman you’ve never broken up with, and creating space for your ex to express himself to someone whom you’ve only been dating for a couple of months.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you may not have even noticed because you haven’t been breaking up with people you barely know.
But if your current boyfriend or husband of a few months has your back, if he’s been there for you when you needed him the most, if he’s been there for you when you least needed him — then what does “I love you” mean to you?
Does it mean that line your grandma uses? The one where she says just a few words and then goes silent? The one where she just accepts your love by default?
No.
It means that line. It means that your boyfriend or husband of a few months understands you and your needs by your side.
It means that he makes time for you. It means that he’s there for you. It means that he accepts you for who you are. It means that he allows you to be yourself without being judged.
It means that you can say it with him. It means that you can say it with your ex. It means that you can say it with your parents. It means that you can say it with your siblings. It means that you can say it with your friends.
It means you don’t have to say it alone. It means you can tell your boyfriend or husband you love him without it being said in front of his friends or his parents or his siblings.
It means you don’t have to tell your friend you love them because you’ve been crying and it feels like the right thing to do. It means you don’t have to tell your coworker you love them because they’ve been worrying about you. It means that you can tell your cousin you love them because they’re sitting right next to you.
It means you don’t have to tell your dog you love it because it knows all about your emotional state and it goes over your head and needs no introducing.
It means you don’t have to tell your partner you love them because you know what their reaction will be when they see it. It means you don’t have to explain it to them because they know how they’ll react.
It means you don’t have to tell your friend you love them because they know all about your feelings and they love you just the same.
It means you don’t have to tell your co-worker you love them because they know all about your job, your schedule, and their schedule and it doesn’t matter. They know all about you and everything you do and say.
It means you don’t have to tell your boss or your neighbor because they know all about your time and their time and you don’t have to explain it to either of them.
It means you don’t have to tell your mother because she knows all about your life and your thoughts and your feelings and everything you do and say.
It means you don’t have to tell your girlfriend because she knows all about your relationship history because you and your girlfriend have been dating each other for over a year now.
And, it means you don’t have to tell your mom because you know all about her relationship with your father because you and your father have been dating each other for over a year now.
“Love” is not the only thing that matters.
There are things that are more important than love.
There are things that are more important than friendship.
There are things that are more important than even the love between two parents.
There are things that matter because they are important for your life and they are important for mine, and that’s something that is meaningful. That’s a value that cannot be removed from this moment in time because it is now the most important moment of your life.
It’s a moment that will define you, and it’s a moment that will always show what you have